|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
Kid with a sob storyyou were sixteen and you used to call me kid, like i was the one who needed to grow up, not you.
well now i'm eighteen, and you're nineteen and i guarantee that i'm way ahead of you on every aspect.
so when you got engaged to the same girl i was so jealous of the first time, and i realized you were an actual human being with actual feelings, i didn't get angry, i got numb with content.
you were sixteen when you took the best year of my life,
lonely girl at fourteen, heartbroken for a year, and ready to give up everything important to someone who certainly didn't deserve it.
i look back, read the words i screamed at night and realize,
shit could have been so much worse.
and i realize, you were sixteen, barely past being a kid, yourself.
well now i'm eighteen, and you're nineteen and you're probably playing tricks for steady living, and i'm busting my ass seven days a week,
clean, honest, minimum wage, two jobs, at eighteen.
call me a kid.
Visibleit is sad to say
in the least that it is 2:00
in the morning and
i still don't know your
name, but the color of your
eyes and the deep soul
drives me up the wall at night
and i have nightmares.
PassageI don't know if I am weak for forcing myself to forget, and say good-bye, or if I am strong enough for staying alive.
There is a silent rule in my family that when bad things occur, we just don't talk about it. If you can give me a reason other than the emotional capacity of my family is at level 0, I'll consider it. Other than that though, we stay silent. I think this is the reason I became a vulture for trauma.
I've heard there are ways the brain automatically deals with trauma. And usually, people who experience trauma in their lives, the ones who deal with it unsuccessfully, end up with some other mental illness.
Somehow I ended up with an on again off again suicidal, angry depression harboring in my rib-cage.
Regardless, the first stage of trauma I ever went through was when I was barely two years old. My mom's boyfriend, Robert, an abusive fucker, beat the hell out of her constantly. I don't know what demons he possessed, but they were strong enough to persuade him that hitting h
FallingWhen we broke up the first time
I compared you to every boy I'd ever deemed important.
Why you were better than every one.
Why you were worse than every one.
When the second time came around,
I stopped asking questions,
and just reflected on how different you are now
You don't see you the way I do,
just like I don't see me the same way.
You've grown so much,
that same insecure devoid of emotion boy,
hiding through distractions,
same as me.
I stopped being so insecure,
stopped blaming everyone else,
stopped being afraid of feeling
and stopped hiding.
You were my revelation
to all the lies, and all the secrets I held in.
And I don't know,
but I hope that anger you hold means the same thing.
NightAm I destined to share the same fate,
turning wheels, rocket to the moon dreaming?
She kissed the space below my wrist,
a tribute, to remember her when she's gone.
I breathed in that soft scent,
floral shampoo, but not hers.
She wants me to stick around long enough
to indulge in her own shampoo,
this one borrowed.
If I have to wake up every morning
wishing she were here for a
lifetime of her being there,
I hope I make the cut.
I am night, casually running my fingers through
golden hair in my dreams.
I am most alive when it is 2:00 am
and you aren't here.
Tell me what it takes to be there,
300 miles away.
I am a bird, feathers outstretched towards
home, head north till the sun breaks the sky above.
No more level with earth sunsets,
no more ocean water ricocheting my dreams.
Wait on me;
when you're sleeping,
know I am night.
MonsterboyMy best friend
made me cry on the phone.
I was fine just five minutes before
till she confessed the fear
that a sweet blonde boy
with large blue eyes
was a monster in disguise.
I cried because she's right.
I cried because she lies.
Of Snake Charmers and TreesThere are mathematicians
that calculate the gravitational
pull that tethers us to one another,
teasing sense out of the fabric
of Time and Space like
wizened snake charmers.
I thought them so horribly
unromantic, searching for
logic amidst wildflowers--
reasoning being reason enough
to put one foot in front
of the other each day.
True beauty lay printed
on petals and pages,
where I delved for pearls;
the patterns in the pathos
intriguing me into each
rising of the sun.
I do not remember when
it occurred to me that
without fractals there would
be no trees, nor without love
would people have any reason
to calculate the distances that
separate them from their muses.
Keep in Touch!
scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More