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You had me at hello'You had me at hello.'
You had me at the expensive words you speak to me with, crashing into my heart, making me forget the bubble I use to hide my thoughts from the world. Where at least I know you can see me through the window, a thin slit of glass that keeps me from you. Keep speaking darling, because your words make me want to forget the poison I drink each night with my wine.
Your lips are not only used for speaking. They kiss the wounds on my wrists and taste the fear I hide from the human existence. Your eyes aren't just used for looking at my pale face. They see my insides, where all the emotions that I sewed up to ship away from this world stay and they cause embarrassment because you're more than just a lifeline. And I can never tell you who you are and what you truly mean to me in such a short amount of time.
I trudge the days like a demon, heavy and anger filled, with the days I wish to share secrets wi
Did you know?Did you know I have lies on the edge of my teeth? Fighting against my lips, forcing themselves to come out so that all that you will never have to know the horrible truths that are plunged inside my skin? I toss myself on corners forever sick with self inflicted torture. It's love vs. hate, death vs. life, and truth vs. lies scrambling around for a decision inside my brain.
Did you know that I really don't care what people want from me? I don't care about sexual attention though I'll go along with it. I don't care about abuse, yet I'll take it like a warrior. I don't care about the future but I wait for things that have no meaning to my neighbors. I promise you I'm not trying. I'm trapped inside a cotton candy colored dream that chases me into my own personal nightmare.
Did you know I write because I don't believe anyone is really listening to me, and I want to feel like someone is paying attention
Scream my nameScream my name as loud as you can. Because tonight we're falling in love and falling in a deep haze. So hold your breath darling, for I will surely suffocate tonight and you promised you'd stick through it all with me.
And I re-grip the blade, biting my tongue along the way. My heart is full with hot air, burning the core, and slicing my hipbones. I do not know who I am, I just know what I am made of.
When it sells do you take it for granted? Because eventually everything fades, and breaks. The same way my eyes are replaced with glass so that I can't see you when you whisper lies to these ghosts that surround me. It's the same way my ears have a time bomb inside of them so that the wire I'm holding onto that cuts me each time I slip will fall apart and I won't hear myself scream on the way down.
Scream my name as loud as you can, because I want the sweet melody you call your voice to be the last thing I hear o
Everything leads back toLove equals lust.
Lust equals lies.
Lies equal quiet.
Quiet equals me, face down, in my own blood.
Emotions and feelings have got me in a choke hold. Not huge feelings, but enough to make me want to sleep for eternity. I'm numb but again it's starting to fade away with the happiness I just felt. I want to love, but it might just end up repeating the same cycle as before. And I'll try my very best to keep that outcome from occurring.
I have my safety pin stuffed into my wrist, just in case I need to save myself from the destruction love pays me. If I promise you my love will you plant kisses on my wrists to mend the wounds that the quiet gave me?
What have you done?What have you done?
Gauge the wounds, stitch the cuts, and numb the pain. I have lost what I was. I was a girl, innocent and pure,
(I was Kaitlyn)
but I chose to rid of that teacher, who taught me to listen to the tears that fell from the sky and washed away the river of blood that I left there to soak in later. To punish myself from life itself. But now I don't hear the rain, I hear waves, whispering in my ear about how I am nothing. How I am a vortex in time itself, fiction and non-realistic I am.
Look in the mirror. Remember how you listen? Hear the quiet that surrounds you, the rustle of summer leaves. Hear the pages turn slowly.
Oh let's skip to the end of the book.
Put down the razor, and stop trying to numb everything. Because you'll only lose sight too. Scratch lyrics into your arm.
Beauty from pain.
You've suffered so much and you know that some will disagree and say y
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scheinbar is a much-loved and well-known deviant. Just one look at her gallery, filled with enchanting photography, will have you mesmerized. A deviant for over 7 years, Christiane can always be found posting inspirational features as well as regularly commenting on other deviations and encouraging and empowering her fellow deviants. We are inspired and insist that you too stop by and congratulate ... Read More