Time is becoming more preciousSometimes I see him look at me, but he thinks I'm not looking. And it's days like those I'm glad that I practiced lying when I was eight years old and everything was drifting by me. Sort of like in a dream, you realize you're dreaming but you can't do anything to stop it. And that's what's been happening to me all my life.-He had dark hair and dark eyes the color of the night sky except they weren't pretty. They were scary and he was scary and I used to have trouble sleeping at night because the sound of mommy screaming was too much to bare. I guess that's why I can't fall asleep with noise and sound because I get so scared at the littlest prick of sound.Anyway, his hands were big and bony and didn't soothe my wounds at night and they were dark [like his eyes] and one night, before my 3rd birthday, he decided that mommy was an annoyance to his pathetic life and wanted to take care of her. But he's not good with his hands and well, we all know what happened next.The hospital was dar
If it means a lot to youHe is wrapping his arms around your waist and brushing lips against your hair and some part of you knows this is going to hurt tomorrow but you're still here and he isn't giving you a reason to run away and hide anymore. These words are lingering in the air and we're breathing in values that society would shame us for, but even so, with these hands resting on my hips I feel so warm.Well this is what it's like to lust and these are the moments you'll remember for days and I'll remember forever. You tell me to look at you with such a soft expression I can't even tell that this is the boy who's been through and through fuck after fuck. And when your legs start to shiver underneath my tight hold around your waist I can't help but feel like maybe this love isn't so wasted like the trash I've been picking up for years.I told you these kisses weren't mine to steal but you grabbed me by the wrist and promised me that I was the one, the only one you wanted to share them with. And these lips b
Hey, boyHey,boy with the aquamarine stones for eyes that have been flushed lately with coal and fear for the worst out of the best things possible. It's been days since we slipped clever rhymes past haunted lips and to faithful ears and it's been too long since we spoke each others names. I know you've been through brighter ages and these moments where our eyes meet is breaking you just as much as I, but I'm still here scattering the pixie dust on your closed eyes and wishing you sweet dreams. Even though I know that my love is wasted.Hey,I am oh-so-fucking scared of waking up to another cold winter day because there's no one left to heat up my empty ribcage. I keep myself awake at night challenging false solutions I know I'll never recover. You, as well, have my fear in your hands and I know you don't mean to but you're toying with my sight ever so gently. It's enough for me to break apart at the seams and curse myself to hell for being so damn naive. Will I ever dream again?Hey,we're tw
naiveAnd I was so naive, because I didn't realize the first time your razor sharp touch reached my cold flesh, that you were more than just the boy with the aquamarine eyes.
I become what I can't beThere's this wind, and it's all around me and I keep screaming at it to leave because I don't want it to knock me down when I've been trying so hard lately not to crash and burn. I've been trying so hard not to be left high and dry but I find that every time, I just fall and this time. This time I'll be watching and I won't even care that I'm going to break a few lullabies crashing off these fingertips because I find that when I'm breaking inside, I break for the finish line.-So, maybe it's just me and the way I write the list,(1, 2, 3)but I've been searching for days on how to rid this feeling away and burn away all these memories. [And we all know I'm just oh-so good at blocking this denial from my fucked up tranquility.] There's got to be some way to make it all go away, and the way I've been going for days, I've got a feeling I'll be going for years while all of them disappear and fade from my memories. I don't want to look over my shoulder and see footprints of apologetic smil